wish.

i wish i could make you understand what it is. how it feels. what it does to me. the weight that i bear when it is in control. the struggle that is like running through quicksand, sucking me deeper in the more determined i become to be free.
i wish i could make you understand that i don’t wish to be like this. i wish it really was as simple as just being lazy. take action, move, do something.
the more i think, the deeper i go. the more immobile i become. the pain isn’t visible to the naked eye. only to those who have been there, done that. they see. they understand.
with each recurrance, the probability of it happening again and again increase. with each recurrance, i wonder “why me?”.
i wish i could find happiness and hold onto it with the iron-clad ferocity that this depression has on me.
i wish.

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This entry was posted in life, NaBloPoMo and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to wish.

  1. Jaymie says:

    It is easy to forget when you go there, you are absolutely not alone. “The more i think, the deeper i go” really resonates with me. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing.

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