possibilities.

this whole mondo beyondo course encourges us to be open to the possibilities (you’ll hear me say or will read these words from me OFTEN) that the universe has to offer to each of us. it is this “wide open heart” approach that we are to take when developing our own mondo beyondo list, which, by the way, is supposed to be those dreams that you have in your heart, yet are often too afraid to say out loud. it is the process of getting it OUT and offered up to the universe, to the possibilities, that these giant dreams can come true.

here goes my list. i know i will struggle with how specific should they be or how vague should i keep it….it is, after all, a process. i’m sure that over the next 5 weeks of the mondo beyondo course, i will change, evolve, become more aware, and, thusly, will these dreams become more solid, more real, more clear to me.

* how crazy is it that after i posted this list, the course task for today was to work on your list. so i’m adding and rearranging and doing some stuff.this green font will be the stuff i added since the initial post.   this orange font will be my response/reactions/additions after including the course excercise

jacque’s Mondo Beyondo list

write and publish a novel (how i can attempt to do this or even entertain this thought when i cannot even get my “work” writing STARTED, i don’t know, but there it is)

write & publish a novel set in mississippi which will develop into a series of novels (like Sue Grafton does the alphabet series) with titles based on towns with crazy names and this series will become international best-sellers and catapult me into literary stardom and earn me a spot, or two, or twelve on Oprah’s book list

create soulful photography (i call this my whispered dream. photography really speaks to me. i may not have to talent or wherewithall to be a “professional” or even a very good photographer, but i can create soulful photography that is meaningful to me, can’t i?)

create soulful digital photography which shows the extraordinary in ordinary things, people, and scenes.

create & accept love (this one is WAY vague. i know the general direction that this is gonna go and it’s gonna be broken down into more than one, but i need time. my heart needs time. my soul needs time)

THIS IS THE DOOZY. i just started writing and all this stuff came out–out of nowhere–or somewhere–but out it came, nonetheless. i am just going to write here exactly what i wrote on paper during the class exercise…….

open my heart to find meet that one man who is my true love, who can give me unconditional love & acceptance, financial & emotional security, be my true best friend share our lives, our experiences, and our dreams; and create our own family (have children with?) he will make me feel good about myself all the time for the most part & will never call me bad/derogotory/demeaning /hurtful names & will always be gentle & kind with me & will help me be a better person & will grow with me; intelligent, witty, silly, fun, serious, healthy, wealthy, wise, individualistic, creative, walks to the beat of his own drummer, beautiful physically fit (maybe he wasn’t always this way), able to consider different perspectives , handsome (like Keanu Reeves), sparkling eyes, builds things, likes outdoors, loves animals of all kinds except but does not keep snakes & lizards & reptiles & slimy creatures around, has a farm/country place that he visits on a regular basis, comfortable in any setting (urban or rural, alone or in a crowd, etc.), taller than me, i will fit perfectly against him–right there in the crook of his arm–against his side–like we were made for each other, he will transform me sexually–help me to be comfortable with sexuality and finally accept it as something natural and healthy and not something to be done to others, he will fully accept me and love me fiercely. we will be interdependent. he will be my angel. our relationship will be healthy and dynamic.

WOW. where, indeed, did this come from? i haven’t allowed myself to even dream like this. i thought i’d given up, body, heart, mind, and soul. i don’t want to hope against hope though. is this just some crazy, stereotypical, manufactured dream, or is it a real dream?

i am realizing, as this process, this freeing, this experience is really sinking in, that this is less about describing the perfect guy and more about giving myself permission to ACCEPT love. fully. wholeheartedly. this is major, dude. really major.

travel internationally (this is one that really may not belong here. it is something that i would like to do, but right now–at this very moment–my heart is not swollen with excitement about the possibility of this actually happening. and i can’t even imagine it happening. but it is here. on the list. also percolating in my heart & soul)

travel to other countries and learn their cultures on a real, everyday, ordinary level. (Greece, Ireland, Italy, Brazil, Portugal, Spain, Costa Rica, Tahiti, New Zealand, Australia, Japan………not all of these places felt “right” and still don’t. this could be a result of my continued resistance to really, fully believing in possibilities—?? maybe??? )

do you have a mondo beyondo list? if you’d like to find out more about mondo beyondo lists, see this post by andrea scher of superhero journal and superhero designs.

possibilities

Advertisements
This entry was posted in life, NaBloPoMo and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to possibilities.

  1. Amanda says:

    So much of what you wrote down about finding love I could write.

  2. memyselfandotherthings says:

    My dear,
    the stuff you wrote about love brought a tear to my eyes. As a fellow traveller into the realms of MB I wish you from the bottom of my heart that your dreams come true.

    Melx

  3. MaryBeth says:

    Dearest Jaqui
    I so enjoyed reading your list you have an amazing talent moving your thoughts and feelings onto paper-well virtual paper =)
    Now im just sitting here thinking bout any single man that might fit that bill =)
    My brother would but he is married for over a decade and also lives in NYC.` as a matter of fact he drive the subway!
    My original tribe hails from the Brooklyn Flat-bush ave area back during a time as my parent have told me was the greatest place in the world to grow up.
    I have no doubt that your novel is on its way out of yr head and heart and onto the paper
    It is an honor to be sharing this journey with you
    Oh photography-you lovei t-so take your camera everywhere and keep on clicking
    ~Hugs
    MB

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s